Escapen't

Escapen’t Is My Magnum Opus.
The perfect escape room.
You will never escape it because there is no escape. It is essentially the only escape room you will ever need to play, because you can practically play it forever without getting anywhere.

An Escape Room Like No Other
Every puzzle in my masterpiece is a work of genius (my genius, of course) that will have you scratching your tiny little head. Words, shapes, logic, guns, and triangles - I use only the best contraptions for my tortur-I mean, øh, puzzle design. 

You Are Not Alone
My velvety, intellectual voice will caress your ears, a rare treat in itself, truly worth the price of admission.
If you hear any other voices, then it must be something with your head and not someone in the walls.

Endless Puzzles, Endless Fun and no way out
Should you happen to find a vent or open door to enter... uh, ignore them. They are irrelevant to your experience as my unpaid full time escape room enjoyer. There are no-one else here and you don't need to think about what happened to them.