The Tale of the King and The Lorn Knight Called Sir Roberdroric

The Tale of the King and the Lorn Knight Called Sir Roberdroric is a low-budget, yet remarkably self-aware of its own importance and relevance, side-scrolling pixel-art beat ’em up disguised as a very important medieval epic.

Sir Roberdroric, the Lorn Knight, (whatever that means) has a simple task: cross the kingdom, reach the Skull King’s castle, and recover the princess. Unfortunately, every region along the way insists on turning this perfectly reasonable journey into something considerably more complicated.

Choose from four very different knights. There are some others, but you will have to find that out for yourself. Fight your way through enemies using melee attacks, jumps, grabs, throws, dash, stride, and character-specific abilities. Hurl enemies into walls, obstacles, or other enemies, and use the environment to survive the journey.
Travel through eight themed regions, carefully chosen as obvious and entirely trouble-free choices for the 21st century, from suspiciously pleasant fields and enchanted forests to absurd mountains, wizard-filled deserts, endless battles, and the considerably nicer-than-expected castle of the Skull King. Each phase tells its own small epic, complete with enemies, obstacles, strange inhabitants, and problems that probably did not need to exist.

But they were put there anyway.

The story is presented like a grand historical chronicle. The narrator (with a terrible, terrible accent, but good intentions) speaks with great solemnity about events that are contradictory, bureaucratic, anticlimactic, excessively specific, or completely irrelevant.

Sir Roberdroric is not looking for adventure.
Adventure simply refuses to leave him alone.

Features
Retro side-scrolling beat ’em up gameplay.

Four playable knights with different strengths and weaknesses.

Melee combat, jumping, grabbing, throwing, dash, and evasive stride.

Eight absurd medieval regions with four stages each.

Environmental hazards and enemies that can be thrown into one another.

Pixel-art visuals inspired by classic console-era action games.

A solemn medieval chronicle about things of questionable historical importance.

And have fun.
It would be terribly inconvenient if you did not.